Cypriot Tales – Introduction

"A satirical account of life as a Cypriot"

Looking back as I grow older, being of Cypriot decent and growing up in the UK must be one of the most interesting, educational, emotionally and socially challenging experiences you could possibly imagine. So here we go, I've got so much crap to tell you, that you it will literally send SHIVERS down the spines of an entire community!

Uncle Andreas, or Kostas or someone called something like that (the type who offers to drive you to the Marina in his 'MERCENDEZ' (the Greeklish nickname for a Mercedes) then take you round the island on his brother's boat....got the picture? Well, I can tell you a few stories about flash upstarts like him, on reading this the wife who would probably file for divorce, well she would do if keeping up appearances were not more important than principle, his family will probably be in a screaming conference over a cup of muddy coffee, oops, I meant to say Turkish Coffee' OMG.........did I say Turkish Coffee?  Shame on me, I meant CYPRIOT COFFEE, yes, that's it (isn't that stuff horrid, I'll tell you what, Starbucks need not worry)

The fallout from a Cypriot family humiliation is hard to articulate in any comprehensible manner that you 'non Cypriots' could possibly decipher, we are talking self-sacrifice and skulduggery to the extreme, just to preserve reputation.......as you will soon find out.

"Son, you are not just a fool, your are fool complete!"

So here we are, ready to hear some really interesting Cypriot tales, oh....and if any of you think that some of these tales are about perfect little me, then all I can say is, NOT TELLING YOU! Well that's my story and I'm sticking to it.

There is a saying that rings in the ears of EVERY Cypriot like a bad case of Tinnitus, Cypriots live and die by this saying, they might live on fresh air and drive a flash car, beat the kids, beat the wife or even beat themselves, and that my friends is the saying "Ti Tha Pi O Kosmos" (what will people say)  just writing those words has put my blood pressure up because I heard those words many times throughout my life, but as a child, they were either preceded by, or followed by a "Patso" (to you my non-Cypriot friends, that means a slap!)

"Antonki, come held the ladder so I don't fell down!"

That sums it up for this part really, but I have so much more to say, so many different stories, most of them funny, some of them sad and a few are even tragic, but in the end, they will define this Island race that is the Cypriots. You may at this point be completely oblivious to the social politics of being Cypriot of course, if you are a 'ksenos' (foreigner) but if you are Cypriot, then I would expect you to be reading with a tentative apprehension and trepidation at the very thought of what I may say, who I may mention, what naughty little antics will I share with the world, and whether or not you are going to make a 'guest appearance' in one of my tales? Who knows, you'll just have to wait and see!

Please feel free to share, like, comment or even message me with your own 'Confessions of a Cypriot'

Back soon!

 

   LATEST ARTICLES

The October Riots of 1931 in Cyprus
1931 Cyprus revolt The 1931 Cyprus revolt or October Events (Greek: Οκτωβριανά, Oktovriana) was an anti-colonial revolt that took place Read more.
One Billion Rising movement
The Cyprus Mail has reported: Why one billion? Well, that’s the figure of woman and girls across the planet who Read more.
Cypriot Tales – To Fishatiko
It’s 1973 and mum & dad (kyriacos & Ellou) decided to go in to business, was it Double Glazing? A Read more.
Cyprus loses Halloumi trademark
The Cyprus Mail reported: Cyprus may have definitively lost the trademark for halloumi cheese in the UK, after a British Read more.
Campaigner wants people prosecuted for fake profiles on Tinder
The Daily Mail reported: Teaching assistant, 44, reports online lover to police for hiding his marriage from her as new Read more.
Larnaca Cat Sanctuary
Located a few miles out of Larnaca, on the outskirts of a village called Alethriko, there is a new Cat Read more.
The Scourge of Ritalin
What Is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder? Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) affects children and teens and can continue into adulthood. Read more.
University of Northampton ‘Tracking Students’ 24/7
University accused of using 'sinister' surveillance technology to track what websites its students are looking at Vice-chancellor Nick Petford said Read more.
Understanding GESY Cyprus National Health System
The healthcare system of Cyprus is changing with GESY, a full-coverage healthcare program for all citizens. This new system will Read more.
Opt-out organ donation ‘in place by 2020’ for England
A new opt-out system for organ donation will be in place by 2020 in England, if Parliament approves "Max's Law". Read more.
Child rapist was allowed public access to children
The Cyprus Mail reported:  A convicted child rapist has been allowed to take children on horse and carriage rides along Read more.
BoC to shutter 15 branches, no redundancies
Bank of Cyprus said it plans to shutter 15 branches as part of restructuring but no jobs will be lost Read more.
Kidnapping defendant admits giving boys sedatives
The Cyprus Mail reported............ The man who admitted kidnapping two boys from their Larnaca primary school in September pleaded guilty Read more.
Brexit – May Crushed
May's Brexit deal is CRUSHED: PM suffers biggest government defeat EVER by 230 votes as Tory rebels join forces with Read more.
The next property bubble in Cyprus
The Cyprus Mail reported................. Cyprus could be inflating another property bubble through the citizenship-by-investment programme, and at a time when Read more.
Cypriot Tales – The engagement from hell
It’s May 1987 and young Andy from Bedford is under increasing pressure from mum and dad to get engaged, he’s Read more.
The Dangers of 5G
FRIGHTENING FREQUENCIES: THE DANGERS OF 5G & WHAT YOU CAN DO ABOUT THEM As the old saying goes, give us Read more.
Cypriot Tales – Moving to Cyprus
"A satirical account of my move to Cyprus" It's August 1989 and I decided to move to Cyprus....yey! This was Read more.
Cypriot Tales – Introduction
"A satirical account of life as a Cypriot" Looking back as I grow older, being of Cypriot decent and growing Read more.

Follow Me