CAN I USE COACHING TO GET PEOPLE TO DO WHAT I WANT?
Coaching focuses entirely on your own behaviours. It doesn't teach you how to be the architect of other people's lives.
When you use coaching as a tool for your own future, it's important to understand you're not doing this to change or control the people around you, but the people around you will change their behaviour towards you because you are now different with them.
It's about self-awareness and the ability to respond to your own situations beautifully.
Your surroundings improve because you are more in tune with yourself, your values and your boundaries.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM MY COACHING PROGRAMME?
As a coach, I hold space. A safe, judgement-free space that gives you room to think and speak freely.
Through listening clearly and really hearing you, I can then help you move into a place of getting unstuck.
For example, we may identify some limiting beliefs and find a way to break through them so they aren't blocking you anymore, or look at reasons why Imposter Syndrome creeps in the more successful you become and discover ways to move past those feelings.
By using a positive, enquiring approach we build upon the positive as opposed to starting from a premise of what's wrong. Therefore, I champion you! I believe wholeheartedly in your abilities.
Generally, there are six distinct stages of a coaching agreement including:
• Contracting & rapport building - this part is to make sure we're the right fit.
• Identifying needs - this is to highlight the areas we are about to put our attention to.
• Goal setting - what would you like to achieve?
• Development or action plan - your unique programme of work.
• Support practices - how you can effectively maintain your new ways of living in real life.
• Follow-up & evaluation - to see how you've progressed and how you now feel!
HOW QUICKLY WILL I SEE RESULTS?
As powerful as coaching is, it's not a silver bullet.
We're building new automatic pathways for your brain and for those to embed and become natural takes both time and commitment. It's about small, daily changes to your usual lifestyle which will bring big results.
These changes are mostly recognised during times of self-reflection and you realise how different a situation played out compared to your old expectations. Like any intervention, these things take time.
Metaphorically, if you were to experience a physical issue such as a broken bone, the process involves the initial diagnosis, the right treatment to heal the break, then a period of time for physiotherapy to make sure it's healed fully and to rebuild strength.
With a physical ailment it's easy to see when the problem is healing, so progress is tangible, but please know that your mental wellness is also improving; with psychological work the measures of improvement lie in self-reflection and self-realisation rather than being something you can see changing daily in the mirror.
For a one to one approach, typically I work with people over a period of 6 to 12 months and this does vary depending on each person's needs.
Your coaching programme is designed to cover the issues you bring to our initial session, however over time if you feel there is more you'd like to unpack, programmes can be extended.
The most important thing is to accept that long-term benefits happen over time and this is different for everyone. The key to your success is making room in your life for consistent, daily choices.
HOW DO I KNOW I'VE FOUND THE RIGHT COACH FOR ME?
The relationship between us plays a huge part in the success of your coaching. The rapport we have isn't something you should compromise on and neither will I. You should feel absolutely safe; able to think and speak freely.
Our relationship is one of trust, confidentiality, and reciprocity. In this environment; change, development or improvement of a behaviour, attitude or skill will occur.
Feeling safe in our match is important so you know you can be free to explore, envision possibility and play with ideas free from judgement or opinion.
In this environment of safety, I will provide high-quality listening and focused enquiry and at times, advise or recommend specific actions, practises or exercises as appropriate.
Typically I don't tell you what, or how to do something. My role is one of exploration and supporting you to discover, or uncover, or expand your own ability to navigate the desired change. Your changes will work because they resonate with you and you get to go at your own pace. This is your agenda alone and remember, everyone goes at their own tempo.
My commitment to you is to be patient, supportive and self-aware. I remain purposefully detached so I'm able to see your position clearly and interpret what I'm seeing and deliver feedback in the most constructive way. I promise to always show up fully, to always be right with myself through my own personal development and to remain curious about your situation.
I won't look at your life through my own lens ~ this is all about you.
THE FEE ISN'T WHAT I EXPECTED. WHAT AM I PAYING FOR?
This is a very good question (and one I know a lot of you don't like to ask in person).
Some coaches do offer a by-the-hour service and will have many clients a day through their doors and this works well for them & their approach. As I mentioned before, we're all different.
My approach is by tailored programmes and there are a few reasons why I do this:
• I only work with a handful of people at any given time. For me, this is personal. I love working with every one of my clients and this comes with a dedication to your needs. If I need to carry out specialist research for your situation, this comes with the territory. I'm fully committed to each of you and this bears an emotional and physical responsibility to show up for you fully and in the most effective way.
• We both commit to an agreed coaching outline. This ensures our appointments are scheduled in advance with person-centred plans for between sessions. It means our plans can evolve over the duration of our time working together and it remains all about you.
• It brings flexibility for our work together. It may be necessary to adjust how long the current session is, or in some cases, add an extra one or two into the plan. By having a programme, you're safe in the knowledge you're not going to be hit with another bill because you need more time, or if an extra session needs to be scheduled in.
• There's room for some extra contact. If we need some contact between sessions such as check-ins or catch-up calls, these are included as laid out in our coaching agreement. We all respond to change in our own way and accountability can play a big part in your success.
• You are fully committed to the process. Coaching can sometimes be front-heavy in terms of breakthroughs, and for some, they come later. By committing to a programme both from a time and financial perspective, we both know you're going to show up fully every time. Life gets busy and when we start to feel ok and like we're making some progress, it's tempting to neglect the work you set out to do and not achieve it fully. By committing to a programme, you're committing fully to yourself.
• You're not paying solely for 'time in the room'. As part of my commitment to keeping my standards high, I'm a member of the International Coach Federation (ICF) and as part of this, I commit to levels of continued development. Your fee reflects the costs involved with staying at the forefront of education and therefore you know you're getting a coach who remains perpetually learning.
IS COACHING FOR EVERYONE?
Coaching is free from cultural, geographic, racial, gender and age profiles.
It requires a wholehearted approach and each person entering into a coaching programme responds differently, but know the more you're willing to be cracked open and able to look at your own self through the lens of self-development and kindness, the more effective it will be.
I provide simplistic solutions to complex situations, therefore, coaching is not necessarily appropriate for you if you're undergoing a psychological intervention through the form of psychotherapy, counselling or are being treated for addictions, depression, an eating disorder etc. These factors may underline an inability to make changes at this time; but it's worth remembering this is just a moment in time and once your current treatment means you're in a position to move forward, coaching may be the next valuable step into your future.
Coaching does come with a daily time commitment. The steps you'll be taking involve a daily practise, so the ability to make some time for yourself each day for homework such as self-reflection through meditation, journalling or other methods will be necessary.
An important question to ask yourself is if you're prepared to try new methods and if so, can you make the time necessary for this investment in yourself.
WHAT IS COACHING?
Coaching is a purposeful conversation that inspires and empowers you to create the best life for yourself. No matter what situation you are in, coaching enables you to transform your challenges into opportunities for learning and personal growth. Coaching empowers you to make conscious choices that resonate with who you truly are and to bring changes that make your life more fulfilling.
WHAT CAN I EXPECT FROM A COACHING SESSION WITH YOU?
As a coach, I’m fully committed to facilitate your journey by creating a safe space for you to fully experience and explore your situation freely and truthfully, without any judgement. I ask powerful questions that evoke deep reflection on who you truly are and what really matters to you.
My aim is to evoke transformation of your limiting beliefs about what is possible in your world into commitments and actions that will enable you to live the life that is in agreement with your values and your life purpose. Life, that is fulfilling and where you always have the tools to make the right decisions in all areas of your life.
WHAT IS THE DIFFERENCE BETWEEN COACHING AND THERAPY?
Both professions focus on helping people make changes and accomplish goals that really matter to them.
While therapy (mostly) holds the client as someone who needs to be ‘healed’, coaching holds the coachee as naturally creative, resourceful and whole, and completely capable of finding their own answers to whatever challenges they face. The task of the coach is to ask powerful questions, listen and empower to elicit the skills and creativity a client already possesses, rather than instruct or advise.
Certain types of therapy are focused on past events in one’s life. Coaching is mostly focused on presence and the future. We might talk about what happened in the past but more in the context of how does that impact you here and now.
DO YOU THINK COACHING ON SKYPE IS AS EFFECTIVE AS IN PERSON?
In my experience coaching on skype is certainly just effective as in person and in many cases far more convenient. Whether or not a person feels satisfied with the coaching they receive is entirely dependent on the connection between the coach and the client. If the right dynamics is in place, in my experience there is no difference between coaching in person and coaching on skype. The advantage of having an online session is in how convenient it can be – you can have your session in the comfort and privacy of your home or as a break from work in your office.
HOW MANY COACHING SESSIONS DO I NEED TO HAVE IN ORDER TO ACHIEVE MY GOALS?
To achieve the desired results, I strongly recommend my clients to work with me for a minimum of 6 coaching sessions.
HOW OFTEN WOULD WE MEET?
I recommend to have coaching sessions every two weeks. The two weeks distance between the sessions usually creates the ideal balance between having enough time to ‘digest’ the previous session and to reflect on the new awareness that was created.
HOW CAN I BE SURE THAT COACHING WILL WORK FOR ME?
I believe that everyone can benefit from coaching, if they are fully committed and if there is the right ‘click’ between the coach and the client. That is is reason why I always have an initial session with my potential clients before making any agreements. It is important for me to make sure that my clients know how coaching might feel for them and to see whether there is the right connection and trust between me and them.
Coaching is a mutual commitment and alliance between the coach and the client.
As with most things in life, the more you invest into something, the more you will get out of it – this is especially true when it comes to coaching. As a coach, I am fully committed to you and your ultimate goals. I am committed to dig deeply and courageously, to listen to your words – both spoken and unspoken. I am here to motivate and encourage you and also to challenge you or tell you the hard truth about what am I hearing, for your own sake.
You are the one in charge of your own development and growth.